I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
