All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
her vagine was all disorganized.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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