how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
