I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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