I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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