there's paper in my vomit.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
