I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
