Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
