why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
