How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I smell stomach acid.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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