u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
This show inspires me to have sex in space
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
