This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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