you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
