thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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