watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
