on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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