I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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