i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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