i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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