omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
