yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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