You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
