apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize