well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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