Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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