I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
