It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
