i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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