I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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