Ambien. No doubt about it.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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