I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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