I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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