he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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