Screwed.edu
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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