she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
