I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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