You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
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We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
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Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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