Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
