But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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