"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
everyone is single if you try hard enough
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
