Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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