More tranny stories later!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Ladies don't puke and tell
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
