Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
