If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
