im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
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We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
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Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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