Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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