i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
