the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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