you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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