Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
