My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
