Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize