playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
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I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
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How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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