my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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