and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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