At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
