just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
