I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
